I think it’s safe to say between the ages of 18-28 you will meet someone who appears perfect but a few months down the road turns out to be just as toxic as your ex! This reoccurrence honestly leaves me thinking what in the hell did I do wrong! It’s evident that they had some underlying issues, but maybe I was wearing a sign on my head that I couldn’t see, that screamed HURT ME! Turns out that I was a walking Billboard hunny, and here’s what I had been doing to attract that caliber of men.
1. I WAS TOO NICE
I know this sounds crazy, right? Like is it even possible to be too nice? Yes! I let everything slide, no matter what excuse I was fed, I ate it up and always responded with its okay even when I knew it wasn’t. No, it wasn’t okay to stand me up on date night, no it wasn’t okay when your phone kept going off late night! Ladies STOP being so damn nice!
2.I WAS THE “MISSING” PIECE TO THEIR PUZZLE
Quite frankly we all know that if one piece of a puzzle is missing you’re fudged up in the game! Point blank period you can’t repair what has been broken, that’s God’s job not yours. I kept thinking that I could change them, but newsflash you can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change! When you are there to clean up the mess every time, they become dependent. You are no longer the Girlfriend that was “holding bae down” sis you are his mom!
3. I DIDN’T HAVE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
If you ever find yourself in a relationship where the other person always has drama that follows, remove yourself and I mean fast. Eventually you’ll begin to take on their problems as if they were you own. This causes unnecessary stress within your own life leaving you to constantly feel worn out.
4. I WAS TOO EASY GOING
Going with the flow does not serve as the yellow brick road that leads to a “chill girlfriend” of the year award. Being too relaxed, and silencing your opinions or feelings is like you opening the door and inviting your counterpart to overstep every boundary you didn’t set.
5. I PERPETUATED THE NEVER-ENDING CYCLE
Trust me he’s been studying you long before he approached you. At this point he knows that you’re the perfect girl to screw over… Harsh, right? In my opinion they take not only your kindness for weakness, but they manipulate your ability to fight through tough times. Eventually you succumb to their trickery and begin believing you need them and the relationship you’re currently in.